Is Marriage Therapy Effective?

If you're stuck in the middle of a rocky marriage, you and your spouse have probably considered some form of therapy – or maybe you've already tried it. One problem with couples therapy is the fact that husbands and wives wait until it's too late to work out their problems. If divorce is already looming in the horizon, you and your spouse will have difficulty finding solutions to your marriage problems. On the other hand, this doesn't mean that marital counseling is always a flop. According to Psychology Today, there are four guiding principles that can make or break your relationship during marriage therapy:

First, therapy should help you understand your relationship objectively. In other words, you and your spouse need to shift your perspective to see your marriage outside of any pent-up emotions, bitterness, and other factors. Objectivity can help you and your spouse find solutions to your marital problems. Most counselors start by watching their clients interact with each other. Then, the therapist begins to form hypotheses about the marriage problems. This objectivity can help you and your spouse figure out the problems in your relationship and adapt to a solution.

Secondly, marriage therapy only works if you and your spouse are willing to adapt. You won't find a solution without changing. While many couples find this difficult, it is the only real way to fix some marital problems. If you and your spouse identify problems in your marriage but are unwilling to adapt to a new solution, you probably won't be able to stop an impending divorce. This principal is especially true when applied to dysfunctional behavior. Dysfunctional behavior is any pattern of action that can result in physical, economic, or emotional harm. Over-spending, excessive gambling, verbal abuse, physical abuse, and other behaviors are considered "dysfunctional."

Successful therapy will help you decrease emotional avoidance. Effective counseling helps husbands and wives identify toxic emotions in their relationship so that they can communicate with each other easily. Couples who avoid emotional vulnerability are less like to express their true feelings and less likely to find answers to their marriage problems. Some therapists help married couples learn how to communicate with each other by coaching them in communication techniques and ways to express themselves accurately. Without the ability to communication your emotions to your spouse, you probably won't be able to find solutions to any emotionally-based marital issues.

Finally, therapy should help you and your spouse develop positive ways to communicate. Therapy should help you take your relationship past problems solving, it should give you the tools to build and maintain your marriage in the future. If counseling doesn't help you find better ways to communicate with your spouse, you may find yourself dealing with the same marriage issues in the future that you're facing in the present. Unless you and your spouse learn to communicate with each other in an open and supportive way, you won't be able to avoid serious miscommunications and conflict in the future.

If you believe that divorce is the best solution to your marital struggles, the Austin family lawyers from Menduni Martindill, PLLC can help. Our firm is dedicated to serving clients in Austin, Texas who are facing complicated legal issues related to family law and divorce. At the firm, our team of compassionate lawyers is recognized by the BBB® and were selected for inclusion in Super Lawyers®. We work hard to achieve the best possible case results for our clients and always strive to reach the highest level of professionalism in our work. To learn more, call our office today or fill out an online case evaluation form.